vaudevillian turned letterboxing computer genius "Wassamatta_u"
teamed up with Ryan Carpenter to work on the Atlas Quest Web site,
few innocent bystanders suspected the disturbing implications. By
June of 2009, the AQ discussion boards had degenerated so far as
to conjur visions of "Wassa" in Daisy Duke shorts and
a stretchy tube top. Be still, my quivering stomach! Shiloh, a regular
poster on AQ, reacted by pleading for a dose of "eye bleach."
Always the people pleaser, Wassa quickly responded by offering his
newly-invented Eye Bleach on the AQ Marketplace for a mere $9999.
And thus, a running gag was born, which became a popular inside
joke for those who kept up with the boards, but not a very successful
seller for Ryan and Wassa at AQ. Ryan insisted that Eye Bleach was
a bargain at any cost, considering some of the things being discussed
on the boards; however, he made a desperate offer to reduce the
price by 50% in October, 2009. Strangely, there were still no takers.
Finally, on November 29, 2010, Ryan devised the ultimate strategy
for selling the product. He subjected followers of his "Letterboxing
is Fun" blog to a Top Ten list of reasons for Wassa's Eye
Bleach, posting a reference to an incredibly disturbing board post
each day for ten days, culminating on December 8 with the ultimate
justification—affordability. That's right, Wassa's Eye Bleach
was now available in the form of an eye patch. Just buy two, loop
a strap through the handles, and tie them around your head to cover
your eyes before logging on to the AQ discussion boards. "It's
not nearly as effective as the eye bleach itself," Ryan admitted,
"but you know what they say—you get what you pay for."
For the record, the patch on the left, above, was the pre-order
prototype that was sent for approval before any others were made.
It doesn't really look any different, but it's marked "Prototype"
on the back, and has been signed by Wassa himself as proof of its
authenticity. Wassa writes, "I figured... what BETTER place
to have the first, original, prototype Eye Bleach Patch than in
the Patch Display?"